We’ve known for years that adoption would be the route for building our family. This last March (2023) we took the first step by taking state requested foster and adoption classes to become certified. These were extremely helpful, and helped us decide between foster to adopt and infant adoption. We were, and still are, open to both avenues, but ultimately decided that infant adoption was the route for us at this time. Furthermore, we decided that domestic adoption was the best fit for our first adoption.

Following those classes, we took time to research local agencies and identify one that not only would be a good fit, but took action in areas that are important to us.

We came across New Life (our church Woodbury Lutheran is also a partner with them), and felt like it was the right choice. Here is why:

  • They are a Christian organization. While this wasn’t a top must on our list, it is a benefit to navigate this journey with an organization that keeps Christ and the Gospel central.

  • They have a 2 social worker model, meaning that they provide a social worker for the birth mom (and family), and a social worker for the adoptive parents. This ensures that both parties are getting the support needed.

  • They don’t start and end with adoption; they provide much needed support, resources and ministry outside of adoption. Primarily they have First Care clinics where they provide free health support, classes, and resources.

    • Clients can have STD testing, pregnancy testing, ultrasounds, and options counseling.
    • They also provide classes and community to parents in need of support and guidance in their parenting journey.
    • Alongside that, clients receive access to physical needs, such as diapers, wipes, clothes and more.
    • Another program they offer, called Conquers, provides both one-on-one mentoring and group sessions designed to deal with the pain and difficulties that come with abortion.

New life meets clients in ways that are reflective of the Gospel, and that was very important to us. While we are excited to adopt, ultimately we desire for children to be with their family of origin. If that is possible because that family received more support, community, and had all their needs met, that is the best outcome! We are grateful for an organization that walks with each client and presents options to them so they can take steps toward what is best for them and their future child. For some parents, adoption is the best next step, and New Life walks that path with them in an honorable way. We wanted to partner with an organization that put importance in each of these areas.

New Life accepts new prospective family applications 1 time a year, and that happened to be on June 1st. We filled out our preliminary application, and it was accepted about 2 weeks later.

Oddly enough, all of our immediate family members were coming to stay at our house at the end of June. We did not plan this- it just happened! After we had filled out the application, we knew at some point we’d want to share with our families. It had been quite some time since we had family photos done, and so we decided to book a session; it was the perfect cover to surprise our families with the news. Despite Bethany making color pallet requests for everyone’s clothing, no one figured it out. We had worked with this photographer before, so it was fun to bring her in on it and get her help on making it happen without revealing it too early- we wanted their reactions on film.

Our family reacting to our announcement of adoption

As you can see with the picture above- we got it! It was fun (maybe a bit nerve wracking) to share it with them. We had to request that they keep it a secret for a while, and while it must have been difficult for them to keep the secret, we are so thankful they kept it quiet until we could share more information widely. As a bonus, we got great family photos! We will use some of those in our adoption book which will be given to birth parents as they consider us.

The next step was to attend our first seminar with New Life on August 1st, and upon completion, we would be invited to complete a formal application. The seminar was great! We learned even more about New Life, what to expect, and costs associated with the process. We left with the formal application.

There is quite a bit of paperwork that goes into this application, which is both agency and state specific. Part of this application is a pretty extensive autobiography, where we each needed to answer questions about our childhood, upbringing, family relationships, our marriage, and more. However, it was good to think through some of those things as we continue to prepare our home, hearts, and community.

We turned in the formal application at the end of September, when we attended New Life’s openness and transracial adoption seminars (we will share about this in another blog post).

And most recently, we received notice in late October that our application has officially been accepted! We made our first large payment to kick off the formal process. We are now officially in a waiting period for our home study to begin, which could be anytime between now and March.

We sent out our adoption announcements to extended family and friends a couple of weeks ago, and have shared the news with our co-workers. It’s nice to be able to share it publicly now!

It may take 3-6 months to complete the home study, after which we’ll be an official “family in waiting” that birth parents can consider.

In the meantime, we have a list of books and articles to read, seminars to attend, and educational videos to watch about raising an adopted child. So while we are waiting for the next big step, we have some little steps to take as we continue to prepare.

Our current prayer requests are:

  • For patience and open hearts in this next period of the process.
  • For New Life, as they help clients and meet their needs.
  • That New Life might fill their existing empty social worker positions that have gone unfilled for quite some time.
  • That any house updates we will need to complete for the home study or general preparation for a child would go smoothly (our basement stairwell needs railings, creating a nursery, general baby proofing, etc)

We are also preparing for our next payments (totaling about $12,500). If you would like to support us financially, here are a few ways:

We have set up a GoFundMe to help us with all of the upcoming expenses through the agency

If you enjoy purchasing baby items, we have an Amazon registry for a handful of supplies we will need to have on hand to be ready for a baby

Bethany is hard at work with Passing Notes to help us make extra income. With the holiday season approaching, consider checking out her shop at passingnotes.studio. All purchases will go towards our adoption fund.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this update! We are grateful you are joining us on this journey.

-Phil and Bethany